In the previous two articles, we talked about managing emotions is about understanding when and why you feel a certain way. Instead of fighting against emotions, it’s better to accept and understand them. This acceptance helps build emotional intelligence, which lets you handle your feelings better. First, accept the emotion as an emotion and second, fully embrace the emotion to understand it. Now for the third step, allow your emotions to fulfill their purpose within you.
Allow Your Emotions to Fulfill Their Purpose Within You
As emotions surge through you, propelled by their energy (e-motion), they facilitate the necessary emotional labor. This labor varies depending on the type and intensity of the energy invoked by the emotion.
For instance, the energy of anger, when genuine, signals a violation of your values, prompting action to rectify the situation and alleviate the threat. Although experiencing anger can be uncomfortable, it compels us to seek symbolic outlets when direct action isn’t feasible. These outlets might include verbal expression, written reflection, or physical exertion.
Fear, on the other hand, prompts a different response. It urges us to retreat from perceived danger or threat. At times, it may immobilize us with confusion. Acknowledging this instinct allows us to pause and evaluate whether flight is truly warranted or if confronting the source of fear is the more prudent course, even in the face of discomfort.
Then there’s sadness, evoking feelings of loss and grief. Whether it’s the loss of material possessions, opportunities, relationships, or loved ones, the emotional task entails acknowledging the void, embracing the pain, and accepting the change. By confronting our grief head-on, we honor what was lost and pave the way for healing and growth.
In each scenario, emotions compel us to introspect, to own our emotional experiences, and thereby nurture our humanity. Emotional labor is the process of cultivating our empathy, resilience, and understanding. Consider Aristotle’s wisdom: “Anybody can become angry—that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”
Engaging in emotional labor transforms us. Through embracing grief, one discovers the profound depths of love and connection. By confronting fear, one cultivates courage and resilience. By refining anger, one channels it into a force for justice and positive change.
Emotions serve a vital function within us. They integrate our cognitive understanding of the world with our neurological and physiological responses, preparing us for effective action. Just as knowledge shapes us, emotions propel us into action, imbuing us with the readiness and resourcefulness to navigate life’s challenges.
Conversely, ignoring or suppressing our emotions leads to internal turmoil, often manifesting as self-directed hostility. Therefore, it’s crucial to heed the messages of our emotions and allow their energy to guide us towards greater humanity and resilience. However, this must be tempered by rational thought; allowing emotions to dictate our actions renders us emotionally dependent and compromises our ability to regulate our emotional responses.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Neurons] 2024 Neurons #11 THE WORK OF EMOTIONS WITHIN YOU by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
