Overthinking has become a common topic in conversations about stress, productivity, and personal growth. Yet, the term “overthinking” can mean very different things depending on who’s using it.
Whenever someone says, “I’m overthinking,” I always ask:
- What exactly are you referring to?
- How are you overthinking?
- And what are you overthinking about?
Understanding this distinction is the first step to managing it effectively.
When Overthinking Isn’t Overthinking
Sometimes what we call overthinking is actually just real thinking — the process of working an idea over in your mind to reach a conclusion or solution.
Real thinking often requires patience and perseverance. Problem-solving and creativity don’t always offer instant clarity. At times, you must live with uncertainty or ambiguity until understanding emerges.
Stopping too soon because you feel “tired of thinking” isn’t progress — it’s avoidance. So before labeling yourself an overthinker, ask whether you’re truly stuck or simply still processing.
Types of Overthinking — and How to Break Free
When thinking no longer leads to clarity but instead keeps looping endlessly, that’s when overthinking becomes a problem. Here are four common types:
1. Obsessive Thinking
This pattern often begins in childhood. A child might insist on hearing the same bedtime story every night or become fascinated with bugs or birds. These obsessions are part of learning — they fade once the child masters the topic.
However, some people never outgrow obsessive patterns. Why? Often, an irrational fear drives the obsession — fear of mistakes, rejection, failure, or loss of control.
The person gets stuck in a loop of repetitive thoughts without closure, replaying worries about safety, being right, or what others think.
The fix:
Recognize the underlying fear. Addressing the emotion behind the thought — not the thought itself — is the path out of obsessive loops.
2. Re-Thinking
This happens when someone keeps revisiting a decision or situation but never feels satisfied. They return to the same thoughts, seeking closure that never comes.
The problem? They’re using the same mental references each time, hoping for a different outcome.
The fix:
Acknowledge that thinking the same way produces the same results. Break the cycle by bringing in new perspectives, data, or feedback. Sometimes clarity doesn’t come from more thought — it comes from different thought.
3. Intensional Orientation (Not Intention)
Here, “intensional” (with an s) means thinking inside your head — defining things with words and ideas, disconnected from the real world.
By contrast, “extensional” thinking means grounding your thoughts in what you can see, hear, or feel — in sensory, real-world evidence.
When you get trapped in intensional thinking, you create layers of definitions within definitions — thoughts about thoughts — that loop endlessly.
The fix:
Do an extensional check. Get out of your head. Ask:
- What’s the actual evidence?
- What can I observe directly?
Bringing your attention to the concrete world often breaks the loop.
4. Double-Bind Looping
A double-bind is a mental trap created by conflicting instructions or beliefs that make escape seem impossible.
For example:
- “Try not to make a mistake.”
- “Don’t be aware of making a mistake.”
- “Don’t notice that you’re not supposed to notice mistakes.”
This kind of thinking traps you in an impossible situation — you can’t win. You’re stuck feeling like you’re always wrong, yet forbidden to see why.
The fix:
Go meta — step back from the experience. Recognize the contradiction. Once you realize you’ve been “forbidden” to notice the trap, you can finally break free of it.
The Power of Clarity
Because “overthinking” is such a vague term, it’s easy to misuse. When someone says they’re overthinking, ask for clarity:
- When and where does it happen?
- What exactly are they thinking about?
- How do they know it’s “too much”?
Sometimes it’s genuine reflection; other times, it’s fear, confusion, or circular logic.
Clear, precise thinking helps cut through the fog — and the more loosely we use words like “overthinking,” the harder it becomes to see what’s really happening.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Neurons] FW: 2025 Neurons #43 THE MYSTERY OF OVER-THINKING by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
