Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP, once defined NLP as an attitude: “NLP is an attitude, backed up by a methodology that leaves behind it a trail of techniques“.
So, what is the NLP attitude?
Let’s start with the presuppositions of NLP and consider what they imply in terms of attitude. If X is a basic premise of NLP, what can we infer would be the central attitudes which correspond to that premise?
| NLP Presuppositions | Attitude |
| There is no failure, only information that informs us of how to improve. | Curiosity, persistence. |
| The map is not the territory, only symbolic of it. | Fascination, exploration, skepticism. |
| The meaning of your communication is the response you get. | Openness, wanting feedback. |
| Mind and body are part of the same system. | Synergism, systems thinking. |
| Every person operates from his model of the world. | Respect, seek understanding, compassion. |
| Person and behavior are different phenomenon. | Respect of persons, more than behaviors. |
| Behind every behavior is a positive intention. | Honor persons, optimism, look for the positive. |
| Lose your mind and come to your senses (Perls). | Sensory awareness, appreciation. |
| If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different. | Flexibility, freedom of choice. |
| It’s never too late to have a happy childhood (Bandler). | Creativity, ecological thinking |
In learning NLP in the 1980s, L. Michael Hall (Ph.D., ISNS Executive Director) who trained with one of the founders (Bandler), shared that whatever the secret of NLP is—it did not lie in the persons who put it together. He looked deeper inside the model for its working premises. He found the spirit that led to the discoveries and creation of NLP. Accordingly, when he wrote the master practitioner book, Michael Hall titled it, The Spirit of NLP (1996).
So, what is the NLP spirit that brought it about and that continues today to make it work?
#1. Learning
It’s an attitude that there is always so much more to learn. It’s an attitude of know-nothing in order to avoid our own biases and stereotypes.
#2. Openness
It is an openness to what I don’t know, to the feedback I get even that I may not want or understand, and more openness to change in a process world.
#3. Curiosity
It’s an attitude of curiously exploring everything. An attitude of asking, “What else is there? What am I missing? What allows this to be as a possibility? What else can I use this for?
#4. Questioning
It’s an attitude of boldly questioning everything, and then asking meta-questions of those answers. It is questioning with the Meta-Model to get precision and specificity.
#5. Flexibility
It’s an attitude of being willing to change whatever is no longer working and adopt something new and different.
#6. Persisting
It’s an attitude of never giving up, always looking for a way to make things happen, a “can do” attitude of determination and a bit of stubbornness.
#7. Passion
It’s an attitude of passion to live life fully, to be fully present in the here-and-now. It’s a passionate attitude about connecting to others, making a difference, and adding quality to whatever you’re doing. It’s an attitude of adding more ecstasy to life, to relating, and to being the best version of yourself.
#8. Playful
It’s an attitude of being playful, experiencing more fun in whatever you are engaged in, especially learning and skill development. It’s the attitude that getting there is where there is the most fun. It’s the lighten up attitude, stop taking yourself or words so seriously. Fs
#9. Skepticism
It’s an attitude of suspecting that what you see is not all there is, that there is more and you have to hunt for it. “What else lies out there to discover?” “What else lies in this experience that I can use?” It’s an attitude of skepticism about words knowing that “the map is not the territory.”
#10. Creativity
It’s an attitude of creating higher quality products, services, and information. An attitude of inventiveness, “How can I make this better?”
The Bottom Line
The attitude of NLP is an attitude of learning, curiosity, experimentation, discovery, and willingness to re-examine our premises. When it comes to learning a new skill or knowledge, we are often trained exclusively in the techniques and the content but not the attitude. Without the right attitude, many strategies and processes will not be successful. Using them like a recipe from a cookbook is unlikely to yield better outcomes than approaching them with the appropriate attitude would.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Neurons] 2022 Neurons #35 GETTING THE NLP ATTITUDE by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
