Leaders and managers, as well as everyone who works with others, have to deal with people’s attitudes on a regular basis. Many businesses and company leaders have expressed dissatisfaction with employees’ attitudes.
“We don’t have the correct attitude here,” says one manager.
“Our employees have some extremely bad attitudes,” says one manager.
Even if someone else’s attitude may seem inconsequential, it can have a big impact on our mood. We are all guilty of allowing someone else’s attitude to bother and frustrate us. The more we worry over it, the more we gossip, the more we scorn it, the more we hate someone for their attitude, and so on. How often does one person’s poor attitude set the tone and become the focus of attention in the workplace?
Sometimes the problem is our own attitude. Slowly but surely over the years we develop certain attitudes about certain things so that eventually what others would call an attitude, to us does not seem like an attitude at all. It’s just “the way things are.” “It’s just how I see things.” Our attitudes become invisible to us since we don’t notice or reflect on them because we live from them and don’t pay attention to them. “I don’t like your attitude,” on the other hand, causes us to ask, “What attitude?” “What on earth are you talking about?”
What should you do if you or someone you care about has some unpleasant attitude? Is it possible to coach attitude? If that’s the case, what’s the best way to go about it? The CEO of Southwest Airlines easily avoided all of this when the company was first established. Decided on hiring people with a “hire attitude, train skills” mentality. Many businesses have followed suit since then. Because recruiting managers know it’s difficult, impossible, or both to change a candidate’s mindset, they begin by selecting candidates based on the attitudes they wish to see. People like that are employed. This actually is an excellent concept. It’s a huge time and hassle saver for businesses.
Attitude and Coaching
Suppose, however, that you already have employees who have a bad attitude or worse. So, what are my options now? Is there a way to help coworkers or employees who have any of the following attitudes acquire a more positive and improving attitude?
- Entitlement: Because I’m special, I’m entitled to special treatment and privileges.
- Approval-seeking: I need constant approval and recognition.
- Competitiveness: Business is all about competing, being your best, getting the biggest piece of the pie, winning over your opponents.
- Blaming: I never accept responsibility, that leads to painful consequences, always shift the blame to someone else.
- Pessimism/Negativism: This company sucks, there’s really no future for us. This job is boring and pointless.
- Wokeness: I have to always follow the rules and do what’s right. Getting off the main path is terrible.
Here’s how to coach them to change their attitude in 4 steps:
#1. Become Aware of the Attitude
Detection and awareness are the first steps in the total change process. You can’t do anything about something you don’t know. And awareness itself can be therapeutic in and of itself, on rare occasions. It’s important to keep in mind, however, that this awareness must be non-judgmental, understanding, and within the context of one’s desire to be their best self. Start by becoming conscious of your own mentality. Get some feedback for yourself. This is where an organization’s 360-degree feedback system can be most effective in sparking a search for any self-sabotaging attitudes. Invite someone to provide feedback by sending them an invitation. “Are you interested in hearing from us?” You may also say, “I’m not sure what to make of this, but what would you say is your current attitude?” What do you think of it?
#2. Identify the Composition of the Attitude
The next step is to figure out what makes up the attitude. It’s important to understand that it’s made up of more than just words and body language; you should be able to put a name to the things you see and hear e.g. thoughts, feelings, physiology, postures, tones, facial expressions, etc. A fantastic way to do this is to record yourself or the other person on video and audio. It’s impossible to argue with the facts.
#3. Shift and Adjust the Attitude
Shift the components around. As you alter the words, the cinematic features of the images and sounds that you play about something, the overall gestalt changes. “Keep that pessimistic attitude while you break into a big smile.” “Thinking about your work, say, ‘This is a glorious chance to improve myself’ while frowning and shaking your fist.”
Adjust the attitude using new components. Say to the person who claims to be cheerful, but is frowning, scolding, shaking her index finger, etc. “as you release the tension and lines in your forehead, tell me one thing you are cheerful about…” Say to the one with a depressive attitude, “Please repeat that but this time, stand up straight, raise your hands over your head as if doing a ‘Hallelujah!’”
#4. Practice, Practice, Practice
Now, practice it to the point that it becomes second nature. Because each and every attitude is already an automatic pattern that has been put in, you will need to keep repeating the modifications until the new pattern becomes the one that is automatically triggered.
Conclusion
You have the power to alter the course of your life just by changing your attitude from one of negativity to one of positivity.
- Our frame of mind will influence how much of our own future we will actually be able to view.
- The way we think about our goals will determine their scope.
- When we are confronted with new obstacles, our level of determination is directly proportional to our attitude toward them.
- You alone are responsible for your attitude.
As a coach, you must maintain a non-judgmental stance at all times. When your client/ employee’s behavior begins to shift, you must be prepared for some bumps on the road. Problems arise when things change. As a coach, it is your responsibility to help your client/ employee grow and change.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Neurons] 2022 Neurons #30 COACHING ATTITUDES by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
