Many coaches adopt a kitten-like approach, and this can be both delightful and frustrating to observe. On the one hand, these coaches are extremely careful, gentle, and compassionate, ensuring that their clients feel supported and cared for. However, this approach can also dilute the dynamic power of coaching, as these coaches often shy away from challenges, miss sudden insights, and fail to seize those “Aha!” moments that are crucial to transformative coaching.
It’s common to see these kitten coaches spend 25 or 30 minutes in a session without even reaching Question #7. They seem so afraid of steering the conversation in the wrong direction that they stick to general, open-ended questions, co-creating numerous potential subjects without ever locking down on one. They hesitate to ask direct, pointed questions that demand commitment, such as: “Is this really what you want? Are you sure? Are you willing to focus on this for the entire session?”
This reluctance to ask commitment-demanding, closed-ended questions often results in these coaches tiptoeing around the real issues. They worry about not uncovering the true subject, but this cautious approach prevents them from moving the session forward and gaining deeper insights into their clients’ situations.
Kitten coaches tend to avoid challenges, especially when it comes to bringing up sensitive subjects. Instead, they skirt around these issues, dropping hints and hoping the client will bring them up. This cautiousness means they rarely question the client’s stated goals or outcomes with healthy skepticism, missing opportunities to uncover misdiagnosed issues or faulty solutions.
The Transformation from Kitten to Tiger
The solution lies in transforming these kitten coaches into tiger coaches. There’s a powerful tiger within every coach, ready to pounce on any potential subject or outcome. A tiger coach doesn’t wait for perfect clarity; they seize whatever emerges and test it. They ask direct questions: “Is your subject your health? Is it your business or career? Does today’s theme relate to your relationship with your kids?”
To visualize this transformation, one might imagine a massive tiger, towering 10 feet tall (3 meters). Standing close, one could feel the tiger’s breath, its strength, and its power. By stepping into this tiger, a coach can embody its presence, feeling themselves stand 10 feet tall. With claws extended, they are ready to pounce on whatever their client brings to the table. No longer a timid kitten, they become a powerful, robust Tiger Coach.
When clients present problems or possible solutions, a tiger coach channels a tiger-like skepticism: “Is that really true? How do you know? What’s the evidence? When did X happen? And what else?” By asking tiger questions and presenting tiger challenges, a coach fulfills their role of facilitating change and growth with the power and grace of a tiger—a caring tiger.
Unleashing the Inner Tiger
It’s believed that within every kitten coach, there’s an inner tiger coach waiting to be unleashed. Coaches should not assume their clients are weak, fragile, or overly sensitive. Such assumptions are insulting. If a client is truly that delicate, they might require therapy, not coaching. Coaching clients are passionate individuals who want to tackle their problems, solve them, and unleash potentials they haven’t even begun to explore. They aim to actualize their highest and best selves. Thus, coaches are encouraged not to remain as kittens but to unleash the tiger within.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Meta-Coaches] 2024 Morpheus #30 KITTEN OR TIGER? by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
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