Do you truly think for yourself? Really? If you do, you’re among the rare few. Most people don’t.
How do we know? Because if we know a person’s economic status, education level, political affiliation, religious background, and cultural heritage, we can predict with surprising accuracy what they believe, value, and think. That means most people aren’t thinking independently — they’re simply repeating what they’ve been taught.
Borrowed Thinking: Where It All Begins
We all start life with borrowed thoughts.
From birth through our teenage years, almost everything we know comes from parents, teachers, peers, culture, and society. In your early years, your parents shape your thinking. By your teens, you may rebel against them — but usually, you’re just switching conformity from your parents to your peers.
This isn’t “bad” or “wrong.” Borrowed thinking is the foundation. But staying there means you’re living by someone else’s mental model rather than developing your own.
The Challenge of Independent Thinking
Learning to think for yourself isn’t easy. It requires a fundamental shift:
- Moving from being other-referent (relying on external approval and authority)
- To becoming inner-referent (finding authority within yourself)
This doesn’t mean cutting off outside perspectives. True independent thinkers balance both: they form their own judgments but remain open to testing their ideas against external feedback.
This shift marks the beginning of self-actualization — developing into a person who acts intentionally and authentically, guided by personal values rather than societal pressures.
Creating Your Own Thinking Framework
Thinking isn’t just about solving problems or making decisions. When you truly think for yourself, you’re choosing your way of life.
You develop your own mental framework — a platform from which you decide:
- What you believe
- What you value
- What you intend
- What you imagine
- How you anticipate and interpret life
Much of this happens unconsciously. But the more aware you become of your thought patterns, the more power you have to shape your reality deliberately.
Critical & Creative Thinking Skills
Independent thinking emerges from mastering two sets of skills:
- Critical Thinking Skills – questioning assumptions, evaluating evidence, analyzing patterns
- Creative Thinking Skills – imagining new possibilities, finding innovative solutions, reframing perspectives
Together, these skills allow you to build your own internal model of the world. You evaluate borrowed ideas, accept what aligns with your values, and discard what doesn’t.
Locus of Control: Who’s in Charge of Your Life?
Psychologists describe this shift through the concept of the locus of control.
Imagine standing in the middle of a circle. Where do you point to find the source of authority in your life?
- External locus: Authority lies outside — in your parents, culture, religion, or social expectations.
- Internal locus: Authority resides within — you decide what’s right, meaningful, and valuable.
As children and teens, authority naturally lives outside us. But as adults, the question becomes: Have you brought that authority inside?
The Fear of Responsibility
Here’s why many people resist independent thinking: responsibility.
When you become the authority of your own life, everything rests on you — your choices, words, actions, relationships, and results. That level of accountability can feel scary.
So many people stay other-referent. It’s safer to follow the crowd, obey inherited beliefs, and avoid the discomfort of standing alone. But this safety comes at a cost: you never truly live your own life.
Owning Your Inner Power
The long-term solution is to reclaim your innate power:
- Discover your core beliefs and values
- Define your own intentions, dreams, and vision
- Build personal references — a reliable internal compass
- Use your inner authority to navigate life
When you do this, you stop living on autopilot. You begin making conscious choices aligned with who you really are.
Living with Integrity
To be your own authority is to recognize a simple truth:
Only you can live your life.
No one else can make your choices or bear their consequences. When you think for yourself, you live in integrity — acting congruently with your values, beliefs, and purpose.
This is the essence of true freedom: owning your life, your mind, and your destiny.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Meta-Coaches] 2025 Morpheus #33 THINKING FOR YOURSELF by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
