Unlike public speaking or training—where you control the agenda, the content, and the intended outcomes—coaching is unpredictable. You can never fully anticipate what your client will bring to the session. In coaching, it’s not about what you want to cover—it’s about what they need. That’s what makes coaching more complex.
While trainers prepare slides and speakers rehearse their messages, coaches step into every session knowing that anything can happen. Why? Because in coaching, the client sets the agenda. And that means you must be ready to respond, adapt, and shift your approach in real-time.
The Power of Flexibility
Even though the client sets the agenda, that doesn’t mean you blindly accept it. As a coach, you need to exercise discretion and negotiate the agenda when:
- The goals are unrealistic
- The intention is unethical or misaligned with values
- The objective is too vague or unclear
This is where the skill of flexibility becomes essential. Coaching is about co-creation—you and your client work together to refine, clarify, and build a meaningful path forward.
Coaching Is Always a Co-Negotiation
Coaching is not a one-way service. It’s a collaborative partnership—a constant process of co-negotiating:
- The coaching agenda
- The client’s goals and success criteria
- The pace and depth of the conversation
- The action steps and follow-up tasks
The agenda may evolve, the conversations may pivot, and the goals may shift—and that’s exactly how coaching is meant to work.
Why Coaching Requires Constant Negotiation
Several factors make real-time negotiation a core coaching competency:
1. Every Client Is Unique
Different personalities, backgrounds, and values mean that one-size-fits-all contracts and processes simply don’t work.
2. Every Coaching Request Is Unique
Even if you specialize in one niche—like leadership—every situation presents different challenges, team dynamics, and priorities.
3. You, the Coach, Are Always Evolving
Some days you’re sharp and in flow; other days you might feel off. Your energy, mindset, and presence vary—and so does your delivery.
4. The Relationship Has Highs and Lows
Just like any meaningful relationship, coaching connections deepen, plateau, or occasionally disconnect. Navigating these shifts requires emotional intelligence and negotiation finesse.
Strategic Thinking in Every Session
Effective coaching involves constant reflection:
- Where are we now?
- Where does the client want to go?
- What’s in the way?
- What skills or mindsets are missing?
- What’s the next best step?
Each of these questions is a mini-negotiation about direction, action, and intention. Your role is to navigate these with clarity, empathy, and responsiveness.
Negotiating Outcomes and Action Plans
The 18 well-formed outcome questions serve as a framework for negotiation:
- What’s the specific goal?
- How will we know it’s achieved?
- What actions are needed?
- What strengths or resources must be activated?
- What obstacles must be planned for?
You’re also negotiating the style of the session, the depth of conversation, and the follow-through that happens between sessions.
Better Negotiation, Better Coaching
Ultimately, coaching is a conversation—but it’s also a dance of negotiation. The more skillful you are in the moment—able to pivot, guide, reframe, or redirect—the more effective your coaching outcomes will be.
Ask Yourself:
- How comfortable are you with negotiation?
- What beliefs do you hold about negotiation?
- What interpersonal skills do you rely on during challenging conversations?
- Where could you grow your communication and negotiation skills?
- Could partnering with a peer coach sharpen your flexibility and effectiveness?
Conclusion
To coach well is to negotiate well. Flexibility is not just a nice-to-have—it’s a necessity. Embrace the unpredictable nature of coaching by honing your negotiation mindset and skills, and you’ll elevate both your impact and your client’s transformation.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Meta-Coaches] 2025 Morpheus #20 IT’S ALL A NEGOTIATION by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
