At its core, coaching is a form of communication that starts with building rapport. From there, it involves respectful curiosity—asking the right questions in the right way. These questions invite the client to reflect, to share, and to open up, because doing so aligns with their own interests.
Through this process, coaches gain a deeper understanding of the client’s values, desires, challenges, and aspirations. It’s a journey into the client’s inner world. The coach listens, mirrors, and guides—pacing the conversation to stay in sync, and gradually beginning to lead. By the end, it’s often the client who uncovers their own solutions, drawing upon their own strengths. The coach simply facilitates this transformation—and in return, delivers value and earns trust.
Authentic Selling Mirrors the Coaching Process
Surprisingly to some, this is also what genuine selling looks like.
Contrary to popular misconceptions, effective selling is not about pushing products, convincing someone of a one-size-fits-all solution, or deploying manipulative tactics. True selling, like coaching, is grounded in empathy, curiosity, and respect.
The best salespeople, like skilled coaches, begin by pacing. They take time to understand what a potential client really wants. They enter into a discovery process that may or may not lead to a transaction—and that’s perfectly fine. What matters more is the relationship they build along the way.
When sellers detach from the outcome and focus instead on connection, they build credibility. Even if the prospect doesn’t buy, they may refer others who will. This is the long game of selling—one built on trust, not pressure.
Embracing the Mystery of Sales
There’s a certain magic in this approach. When sales professionals focus on relationships, on delivering real value, and on playing the long-term game, every interaction becomes meaningful. Even a “no” can lead to future opportunities.
Veteran salespeople can recall many moments where a conversation today led to a sale months—or even years—later. That’s the unexpected return on investing in human connection.
So, how should one evaluate a selling conversation? Not by whether a sale was made, but by whether the potential customer walked away with a clearer understanding of themselves, of their needs, and of the value being offered. And, just as importantly, whether the salesperson grew in their ability to communicate that value.
People Love to Buy—But Hate Being Sold
There’s a paradox in human behavior: most people enjoy buying things they truly want, but almost no one enjoys being sold to.
What bridges this gap? The answer lies in understanding the person’s buying strategy. And the only way to uncover that is through thoughtful, respectful conversation. Ask what’s important. Discover what excites and motivates them. People love talking about what matters most to them—so create a space where that can happen.
Selling with Empathy and Trust
Just like coaching, a successful selling conversation must be built on trust, empathy, and thoughtfulness. The salesperson must earn the right to be heard by being genuinely interested in the other person. That’s how trust is built—and once it is, real conversations can begin.
The Core Message: Selling as a Coaching Conversation
Ultimately, the message is simple yet powerful: if someone can coach, they can sell.
The skills are the same. When you can engage people in meaningful conversations, when you can help them see value for themselves, when you can create a space of trust and respect—then selling becomes a natural extension of who you are.
Authentic selling is not about persuasion. It’s about co-creating clarity and value, so that people make decisions that serve them—and in doing so, they often choose you.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- [Certified_meta-coach] 2025 Morpheus #12 IF YOU CAN COACH, YOU CAN SELL by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. Executive Director, ISNS.
