Many of us, even those in prominent positions, grapple with the anxiety of public speaking. When we are asked about our sources of nervousness, we consistently express the following concerns:
“I dislike the feeling of being observed.”
“I’m uncomfortable with all eyes on me.”
“I don’t enjoy being in the spotlight.”
Consequently, when we step up to speak, some of us initially shy away from making direct eye contact with our audience. This avoidance strategy might appear effective in managing speaking anxiety, but it paradoxically exacerbates our nervousness.
To comprehend why, we must hark back to ancient times when humans perceived being watched as a survival threat. Those watchful eyes were likely predators, and people were genuinely terrified of becoming prey. In response to this primitive reality, the amygdala, the part of our brain responsible for reacting to danger, went into overdrive. When our fight-or-flight response is triggered, it’s only natural to feel intense stress and anxiety. So, what’s the connection to public speaking? As it turns out, it’s everything.
Here’s the not-so-great news: Our brains have inherited this ancient fear of being watched and have linked it to public speaking. In other words, public-speaking anxiety is encoded in our DNA. We experience public speaking as an assault, and we instinctively interpret the audience as a menacing predator, which triggers a corresponding response. The physical reactions many people exhibit while speaking mirror how their bodies would respond to physical threats (shortness of breath, blushing, trembling).
So, when we address a group and sense their collective gaze upon us, we feel acutely exposed, akin to a caveman vulnerable in the daylight. Our brain, perceiving this as an attack, propels us to do whatever it takes to shield ourselves. We construct barriers between ourselves and the perceived danger, which, in this case, is the audience, in an effort to repel the attack and mitigate the perceived threat.
What do these barriers look like? We fixate on our presentation slides. We divert our eyes downward. We immerse ourselves in our notes. In the process, we neglect the individuals before us, hoping they’ll fade into invisibility. Even the most self-assured speakers devise ways to create separation from their audience – it’s hardwired into our instincts.
Thankfully, there is a remedy: human generosity. The key to appeasing the amygdala and deactivating our built-in panic response is to redirect our focus away from ourselves, away from our apprehensions about making mistakes or being liked, and towards assisting our audience.
Studies have found that when we’re more kind and generous to people, it helps calm down the part of our brain called the amygdala. This part is like an alarm system for danger, and when it’s less active, we feel more at ease and less stressed. This generosity also triggers something called the vagus nerve, which is like a calming switch for our body’s fight-or-flight response. So, when we’re nice to others, we become more relaxed and less anxious. The same idea applies to public speaking – when we approach it with a giving attitude, we can reduce the feeling of being under attack and become less nervous.
Admittedly, this can be a challenging shift to make. However, it is entirely possible to become a generous speaker. Here are three steps to get you started:
1) When Preparing, Focus on Your Audience
When we commence preparing for a presentation, the typical mistake is to begin with the topic, diving into the details and making it more challenging to break down the barrier between us and the audience. Instead, begin with the audience. Prior to delving into the material, ask yourself: Who will be in the room? Why are they there? What are their needs? Be specific in your responses. Identify both the spoken and unspoken needs of your audience and create a message that directly addresses those needs.
2) Just Before Speaking, Redirect Your Mindset
The moments right before speaking are when nerves are at their peak. It’s the moment when your brain says, “Everyone is judging me. What if I fail?” However, it’s precisely at this moment that you can reorient your thinking. Remind yourself that your purpose is to assist your audience. Firmly instruct your brain, saying, “Brain, this presentation is not about me; it’s about helping my audience.” Over time, typically after four to six presentations, your brain will begin to understand, and your nervousness will diminish.
3) While Speaking, Establish Eye Contact
One of the most common errors is addressing the audience as a collective. We scan the room, trying to engage everyone at once, but in the process, we connect with no one.
In reality, each person in the room is listening to you as an individual. So, the most effective way to connect with your audience is by addressing them as individuals. How? By maintaining prolonged eye contact with one person while expressing a complete thought or idea. Initially, making direct eye contact can be uncomfortable, as we’re accustomed to scanning the room. However, with practice, this technique will reduce your nervousness. Engaging in a series of one-on-one conversations is far more manageable and effective than addressing the entire audience simultaneously. It’s worth noting that the most crucial individuals to connect with are those at the far edges of the room, as they may already feel somewhat marginalized. By being especially generous with those on the periphery, you draw everyone in.
Conclusion
We recognize the potent effects of generosity in fostering fulfillment, purpose, and meaning in our lives. Generosity wields the same power in the realm of public speaking, transforming an anxiety-ridden and sometimes agonizing experience into an opportunity to give and aid others. A generous speaker is not only calmer and more composed but, most importantly, is more effective in engaging the audience and achieving the intended impact.
Curated by Danielle Tan.
Reference:
- https://hbr.org/2019/09/to-overcome-your-fear-of-public-speaking-stop-thinking-about-yourself
